Triathlon Elite
It's time to sign up for Half Vineman. Oops, I mean Vineman Ironman 70.3. For my six hours of exertion (or less, fingers crossed), I will pay $225. I think it was $150 in 2002, when this madness began.

So think about: Do two half-iron races each year, plus a couple of Olympic-distance events (about $100 apiece), a marathon ($65) and couple of 10Ks (say, $30 each) -- all of which you need in order to break up the schedule and keep yourself motivated -- and you're closing in on a grand for entry fees alone. And heaven forbid you get ambitious and want to do a full iron-distance race: Full Vineman is $295 if you sign up six months ahead of time (sure you get a break, but these fees tend to be practically nonrefundable, so early signup can be risky); it's $405 six days before the race.

Question: Which of the two major parties will take on the issue of skyrocketing athletic-event entry fees? C'mon. Those of us competing are on the front lines in the battle against obesity, that national scourge. Support the troops!